Tips to Speed Up the Hiring Process

Tips to Speed Up the Hiring ProcessTips to Speed Up the Hiring ProcessIn any job market but perhaps never more than in todays workforce - top talent can come and go in the blink of an eye. Based on the pace needed to secure these top performers, you could make the assumption that the majority of companies are nimble and poised to react quickly and efficiently to ensure they get available top talent. But this isnt always the case bedrngnis all organizations wish to speed up hiring. Some organizations believe that a longer hiring process is helpful because it ensures that a company has adequate time to compare candidates and ensure that they are hiring the best person for the position. While there is some merit to this argument, it overlooks an important fact hiring must be equally viewed as both a people decision and a geschftliches miteinander decision. Hiring happens when a person is needed to fill a business requirement or gap. When hiring an employee makes sense for the business, then it will happen. If not, then it wont. When examining the make-up of a company, its not only important to examine all of the components that make a business successful and profitable but to also understand how top talent is an integral part of that equation - a core part of its DNA. The Need for Speed in Hiring Is Increasing Today, employees who were once reluctant to leave a job for fear of losing security are now more likely to make a move. Furthermore, that pool of highly-qualified talent that was rendered jobless is more eager than ever to get back into the workforce. Now that opportunities are available - particularly in sectors like healthcare and professional services where hiring is taking place, people are job searching. If you look at data issued by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there is a significant difference in unemployment rates between those without a high school diploma and those with a bachelors degree or higher. Job searchers with a higher education f ace substantially lower unemployment rates than the national average. As a result, there is a premium for these candidates and companies need to move quickly to ensure that the best of the best are working for you. What all of this means is that just as there is a business reason to fill a position, there is a business benefit to filling that position quickly. A drawn-out hiring and onboarding process costs time and money that is too valuable to waste. For every day a company has not filled a position that solves a business problem, that company is losing money. And, every minute spent on hiring employees costs money that could be better spent in other areas. How to Speed Up Hiring Here are six ways which your organization can implement to speed up the hiring process Utilize Your Internal Network?Your first step in the hiring process is to notify existing employees of the open position. It may seem obvious, but sometimes its a step that happens after the job has already been pos ted publicly.Internal job postings give employees who may want to make a lateral move or change jobs within the company a chance to apply. They are also encouraged to look at their own professional networks for possible candidates.Write a Clear Job Description for the Open Position?It may seem like common sense. But, you would not believe how many times a candidate search goes awry because the hiring manager has not specified clearly enough the skills needed for the position. Creating a thorough job description that helps Human Resources identify candidates in the first round will ultimately lead to better candidates - and a faster hiring process.Be More Selective About the Candidates You Bring in for an Interview?The most time-consuming part of the interview process is often the first-round interviews. Though many companies have a fairly rigorous screening process, including phone screens, too many bring in anywhere from five to 10 people for an interview when they may only be imp ressed by three to five of them from their resumes.Trust your gut in the resume review round to eliminate hours of potentially wasted time for you and the hiring team. Think Ahead and Eliminate Steps That Add Time to Your Hiring Process?For example, many companies only ask for references once theyve decided to offer a position to a candidate. If it takes a day or two for the prospective employee to get the references to you and then another day or two to contact those references, this can add up to a week to your hiring process.It can cost your company money in lost wages and administrative time. Request references from candidates at the time of the first round of interviews. Check the references for those candidates who make it to the second interviews before you think about extending a job offer. Create a Long-Term Talent Plan??Most of the time spent during the hiring process is a result of seeking out qualified candidates to interview. Typically, the search begins when an organiz ation has an open position. It means that your open position will take at least a month to fill.To cut down time, hold informational interviews with prospective candidates for different areas within the company in advance of a job opening. It helps to build a pipeline of talent and can even eliminate the first-round HR screening process that adds days and weeks to the hiring process. Ask for Help or Outsource Portions of Your Hiring Process?Whether youre a smaller company with a limited HR staff or a large international organization working on hiring multiple positions, the reason for a delayed hiring process is probably largely out of your control.Bringing in a staffing company as a consultant to help with the hiring and onboarding process will cost money but save both time and administrative costs. You can also expect a quality screening and hiring process from an outside consultant because you are paying for it. The most significant benefit, when you speed up the hiring and onb oarding process, is that the time saved allows HR departments to pay attention to the initiatives and activities that will help you retain employees. Its easy to forget that retention and ?talent management are such an important part of the HR function because recruiting can take up so much time.?? As the skilled talent pool shrinks, companies must keep their eye on the prize. Ensuring that top talent is satisfied and engaged, so you dont risk losing your most valuable people, is imperative. Its often said that the most valuable asset a company has is its people - and I couldnt agree more. Getting high performing people hired and ready to work as quickly as possible is an important contributor to any companys success - and a key to winning the talent game.

Simply Post Premium Brings Improved Job Post Visibility

Simply Post Premium Brings Improved Job Post VisibilitySimply Post Premium Brings Improved Job Post VisibilityWere pleased to announce the launch of Simply Post Premium, a job deutsche post dhling product that helps small businesses gain maximum visibility for their open jobs and their company at the same time. Small businesses have it tough enough competing for talent. We at Simply Hired are doing our part to level the playing field a bit. Learn more about our small business job posting product Simply Post, the three levels of tafelgeschirr we offer (Basic, Plus and now Premium) and how Simply Post Premium is taking small business talent recruiting to the next level.Simply Post makes online recruiting easySmall businesses typically dont have fancy applicant tracking systems to help manage their hiring. But they do need a fast and easy way to organize, review and manage candidates all in one place. Thats where Simply Post comes in. Rather than having to keep track of various emails , the Simply Post dashboard lets you review, rank and filter candidates in one place.If you are trying to fill more than one position, it also lets you manage multiple positions in one dashboard.Access to a Unique Candidate PoolWhen you post your open job on Simply Hired Premium it is seen by job seeking visitors on simplyhired.comand is included in Simply Hireds exclusive Partner Network, a set of thousands of media sites that exposes your job to passive job seekers. These sites include large media properties such as ABC News and smaller niche professional sites. Prime Time PromotionWith Simply Post Premium, your job will gain greater visibility and attention thanks to a Premium Badge that will show up next to it in simplyhired.coms search engine results. When a job seeker does a search on simplyhired.com, your job will stand out from the crowd.When candidates click on your job, they will be taken to a customizable job listing landing page that can include your company logo and any photos or video that can help the position look as compelling as possible.More visibility and more attractive job descriptions means more candidates and faster time-to-fill on your open positionsBuild Your Employer Brand Get Included in Company DirectoryYour company deserves to be listed right alongside the Big Boys in the Fortune 1000. Gain credibility and get discovered by potential candidates by getting included in the Simply Hired Company Directory. With Simply Post Premium you create a custom page describing your company with your own copy, logo and photos or videos. Longer DurationWith Simply Post Premium, your job will be live for 60 days a period that covers the entire hiring cycle in this tougher recruiting environment. Interested in giving Simply Post Premium a try? Get started in three easy steps, and happy hiring

10 Steps to a Better Career Our Top Articles of 2014

10 Steps to a Better Career Our Top Articles of 201410 Steps to a Better Career Our Top Articles of 2014Jump-start your career in 2015 by checking out our most popular articles of the year.Whether your New Years resolution is to improve your career or change jobs altogether, these tips are sure to help.Below, in no particular order, are our top ten most-read articles of 2014. And theyre chock-full of job-search and career advice. 5 things successful people do each morning According to Inc. Magazine, morning people are more proactive and more productive. But what exactly do they do to set themselves up for success? Adopt these five highly effective habits to start your day on the right note. How to answer, Whats your greatest weakness? during a job bewerbungsgesprch Most job seekers are familiar with the Whats your biggest weakness? bewerbungseinstellungsgesprch question, but few feel equipped to answer it with confidence. The next time youre asked this stress-inducing question in an interview, use these tips to provide a powerful response. Quitting time 5 signs its time to leave your job Quitting is never easy. And while the unemployment rate is improving, the thought of resigning can be frightening with many still facing a tough job market. There will always be high and low points in your job, but how do you know when the bad aspects outweigh the good? Here are some signs that will help you decide when its time to look elsewhere for work. 7 mistakes that make your professional resume and you look old Resumes, like many other marketing materials, have an expiration date. As technology changes and the job-search process becomes more mobile, its important to reevaluate and edit this important document periodically. Make sure your resume is sending the right message to employers by avoiding these common mistakes. Your profile picture is bringing down your job search In todays marketplace, its essential for every job seeker to develop and actively monitor their o nline professional brand. While a photo on your resume is still considered taboo, recruiters have come to expect a picture accompanying your online professional profiles. Learn how to avoid nine common profile picture pitfalls to enhance, rather than damage, your professional brand. The most important two minutes of your job interview While an interview will certainly last longer than two minutes, the first few minutes can set the tone for the entire meeting. As Will Rogers once said, You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Learn what you can do to make each moment of your job interview count. 9 signs you didnt land the job You spent hours crafting your job application. You pass the phone screen with flying colors and are invited to an in-person interview. You practice your elevator pitch, don your best outfit, and head out to the meeting. Then you leave the interview feeling confused. Did it go well? If youre unsure where you stand after the interview is ove r, consider these telltale signs that you wont be getting a call-back. Are you answering these interview questions incorrectly? Interviews can be multi-part affairs and take place in a variety of settings, but the intent is the same To gauge how you measure up in real time and assess if you can put your mouth where your personal brand is. That means preparation is key. Be prepared to answer these difficult and essential interview questions so youll respond with confidence when it matters most. Heres what a mid-level professionals resume should look like Great experience doesnt automatically equate to an impressive resume. As your career evolves, so, too, should the format of your professional resume. If youre a few years beyond the entry-level position, its time to revamp your personal marketing materials to reflect this status.Learn how to craft a resume that stands out from the crowd. 5 reasons why you didnt land an interview You find the perfect job online and submit your appli cation, already fantasizing about your new position. Then the waiting game begins. After what feels like forever, you check back on the job posting, only to realize the positions been filled. If youve found yourself in the job-seeker black hole, wondering what went wrong, consider the following reasons why you didnt hear back.

The Secret To Success at Clorox Is...

The Secret To Success at Clorox Is...The Secret To Success at Clorox Is... 5 Modern Career Skills & Advice That You Dont Learn In College The Clorox Company seems to have no problem with diversity. They have a diverse range of products- from bleach, to chapstick, to cat litter. And this diversity carries over into their core values.So what does Benno Dorer want his employees to bring to work every day?All the 2017 Highest Rated CEO wants you to bring to work is your best, unique self. He doesnt want you to be cookie-cutter. We want people to add to us as a company versus just blend in, says Dorer.According to Dorer, The Clorox Company knows that because their customer cousine is diverse, their employee base has to be too.Dorer says reading his companys reviews on Glassdoor helps his leadership team to foster the working-environment and company culture that employees take pride in. Glassdoor rev iews on The Clorox Company say that employees feel Like Clorox is a family, That the leaders are inspiring, and as though They are constantly challenged.Dorer says he loves to hear such positive reviews. We always look at ourselves as a people company. And if that matters than people feel important, empowered, and accountable thats exactly the type of environment that we want to create.Employees at The Clorox Company rave about the great work-life balance that is inherent to the companys culture. Dorer says people at Clorox take great pride in their work and results, but follows up with if that means people can leave the office earlier, all the better.If a widely-approved CEO, great company culture, and a challenging, yet rewarding work environment sounds like you, look for open positions at The Clorox Company,

Who is Discussing Cv Resume Meaning and Why You Need to Be Worried

Who is Discussing Cv Resume Meaning and Why You Need to Be Worried If You Read Nothing Else Today, Read This Report on Cv Resume Meaning The term resume isnt employed. Resume CV is a little bit of a misnomer. In any event, CV meaning is the exact same. In different parts of the planet, the expression CV keeps its American meaning. What Cv Resume Meaning Is - and What it Is Not It is possible to customize its look so as to make it even more appealing and engaging at the exact same time keeping it simple and tasteful. It can likewise be used by a person who is seeking work change or someone who has not been in the geschftlicher umgang for quite a long duration of time. Our tips will certainly help you in receiving a desired job. It is possible to say its some kind of biography except its oriented for job proposal and that youre not likely to iterate any personal life story which isnt related to job proposal. Finding jobs as an SEO Associate and the remainder of the nation m ay be tough and long procedure. You always need to tailor your resume to coincide with the data in the work description. First off, we must discover what type of job seeker youre. Contact Information Time for a fast recap. Cv Resume Meaning - What Is It? Resume is a sort of document employed by individuals that are seeking for employment. For instance, even in North America, there are specific circumstances where a CV is required. In the USA and Canada, theres a huge difference between a CV and a resume. In the usa, the primary difference between a CV and a resume is the function of the documents. The Cv Resume Meaning Cover Up Resume objectives are occasionally thought to be the old schooltype of resume. You may also have to include specific info. You also ought to avoid controversial details on both. Begin by building a list of all your background info, and organize it into categories. The Good, the Bad and Cv Resume Meaning But if youre a senior executive, an att orney, professor, physician or scientist, then youll likely choose to use a CV. Ask to observe a friends or colleagues CV if youre writing one for the very first time. Moreover, youll discover fantastic suggestions on the way to make a perfect resume or CV that will definitely land you a job. In a few nations, a CV is typically the very first element a possible employer encounters concerning the job seeker and is typically utilised to screen applicants, often followed by means of an interview. Many people decide to use resume templates as theyve been professionally designed to catch the eye of employers and enable you to earn quick edits. Today its pretty normal for folks to look for jobs abroad. Many work in the public service or academia will take a thorough CV to be submitted as a member of a work application. What You Must Know About Cv Resume Meaning When applying for certain positions in the united states, together with jobs internationally, you might be asked to submi t a curriculum vitae instead of a resume. Both curricula and curriculums are thought to be correct. In a CV, for instance, if youre asking for work in education, you may want to place your teaching experience at the very top of your CV. It is possible to also mention certain skills you didnt already highlight in connection with your previous employment. After all, your CV is a quick format of your life timeline in nutshell, therefore it is clear that it is going to fill up a specific number of pages. Although that doesnt signify that it should seem like a text file. Contrary to other formats, a biodata does not have a lot of with regard to formatting and in the majority of the instances the format is supplied by the institution. Skills and abilities are also contained in a CV. Select an Appropriate Curriculum Vitae Format Make aya you select a curriculum vitae format thats proper for the position youre applying for. Now have a look at this step-by-step instruction. Begin with your latest job and degree first. If it comes to CVs, some employers are extremely specific about what they would like you to include and the way the info ought to be laid out. Regardless of whether you take advantage of a CV or resume, you have to thoroughly edit your document. Theres no particular CV format. Besides beginning with your contact info, theres absolutely no typical format for a CV.

The Most Ignored Fact Regarding Blog on Resume Writing Revealed

The Most Ignored Fact Regarding Blog on Resume Writing Revealed Introducing Blog on Resume Writing If you discover yourself stuck, dont worry, there are a lot of helpful resources on the internet to get you back on the right track. If you really want your blog to appear professional, its well worth getting a custom made header. There were six tips I wished to offer you. Sometimes a bit outside help is all of the boost you require. As a student youve written a good deal of essays. Youre able to just pay our essay writers and relish your life watching how your friends are still searching for some methods to prevent writing. Besides sharing your posts and networking with fellow bloggers, remember tore constantly attempting to cultivate your author following on social networking. Besides that, developing a successful writing blog is all about hard work and consistency. Another popular choice is Digg Digg. If you really need to begin a blog, youre likely to have to begin bloggi ng. Even when youre not prepared to begin a blog at the moment, you dont need to risk losing the domain you desire. After youve completed that, youre able to officially log into your blog and get started making it look pretty. If thats the case, then the functional resume format could be perfect. So, select your format wisely to make sure that you maximize your opportunity to realize your objectives In that case, then the reverse chronological format could be perfect for your resume In the end, it doesnt really supply the very best format for those with zero experience. Lies Youve Been Told About Blog on Resume Writing You also dont need to rely on it too heavily in case you dont have the correct sort of skills for the job which youre seeking, as it declares that lack of qualifications at once. Basically, youll want to utilize and share your previous accomplishments to prove that youre a productive and intelligent individual. Youve probably seen many resumes over the duratio n of your work, but its not unusual to find you have very little experience with one focused on being an HR manager. philanthropisch Resources personnel, administrative assistants and other screeners watchdogs could possibly be offended if you attempt to go above their head. Even in the event that you dont have a thing to send, just begin collecting email addresses. Go with yourself and youll observe how they work. If your blog has a sidebar, you may want to spruce this up with a couple of widgets, which are small boxes with distinctive functions. What You Should Do to Find Out About Blog on Resume Writing Before Youre Left Behind You wish to conserve the very best for belastung, naturally. If youre writing writinng your involvement in an helpp, it could be tempting to summarize your involvement through the years and list numerous accomplishments. You may use the functional format in case you have discontinuity in your work previously or hopped the jobs frequently previousl y. Its not, though, a format well-suited for everyone who would like to demonstrate career advancement. Writing and including a reference sheet with your resume is one method to demonstrate which you are fully prepared and prepared to put in the work force. Its possible for you to see our post to learn more and examples to help you compose a resume with minimal or no work experience. Therefore, once you are selecting a topic, be sure its something you really care about and are interested in. The last common characteristic of all winning essays is that theyre written on subjects about which the author is really passionate.

What to Do if You Think Your Boss Is Wrong - The Muse

What to Do if You Think Your Boss Is Wrong - The MuseWhat to Do if You Think Your Boss Is Wrong You know its important to speak up at work. But, lets be real You contribute with the hope that your ideas will be taken seriously.Its hard to feel that way if your anfhrer is constantly shooting them down and taking things anotherbei direction. And, it only makes matters worse if its not simply a difference of opinion, but you feel that theyre straight-up wrong.When youre at that point, all of the solutions can seem drastic Do you just accept that youll hate going to work every day? Do you have a sit down and hash out why you disagree with your boss every single time? Or do you quit, and look for a supervisor youll see eye-to-eye with?Before you get to one of those options, be honest with yourself Have you really thought about why you always disagree? Because once you have an answer to that (beyond I like my idea more), youll have a better sense of what to do next1. Because Its a ChangeIf youre in the dont fix what isnt broken club, its hard to get on board with someone changing things, apparently just for the sake of it. Its frustrating that your new boss is implementing new strategies when things have been going just fine.Build CredibilityIf your main complaint is that her approach is different, your best course of action is to do it her way across all projects. Wait Before you click out in frustration, Im not suggesting this as a forever change. Rather, its to help you decide when to push back- and make a stronger argument when you do.If you refuse to try any new approaches, your case is weak (and likely to be ignored), because you cant make a true comparison. Plus, you look more like someone whos stuck in their ways than someone who cares about the very best way to do things.Once youve tried the new strategies, youll be able to pick your battles- and point to specific reasons why you think a certain old process works better than the new one. If you still think t he new approaches suck and that your managers ignoring your feedback, youll have less regrets when you departure looking for a new role.2. Because You Think Theres a Low Likelihood of SuccessUnlike the person who resists new methods, youre at odds because you dont want to be set up to fail. You cant imagine going along to get along when the plans one you foresee crashing and burning. The just try it the new way approach can seem too risky if youre pretty sure itll cost huge time or money, or lose you a client.Get Clear on Your GoalsIn a former job, my supervisor made sure that we knew our role and goal for every assignment. Because the fact is Organizations evolve and these things shift, so its helpful to continually make sure youre aiming for the same target.By inquiring about your role in the project and the goals youre supposed to hit, you may learn that your boss main objective is innovating or piloting a new process- and that hes OK with what youd assume is a failure, so long a s youve tried. If, however, your boss has different goals, and you feel like youre being asked to do the impossible- not in a way that adds to your professional development- but in a way makes you dread going to work, then dont feel like you have to talk yourself to staying. While every job can include some degree of trusting your boss even when you disagree, you should never be made to feel like your job requires you to perform daily miracles.3. Because Your Boss Is a MicromanagerMaybe you constantly disagree with your boss because he never gives you the freedom to actually do your job. Or, if you go out and take initiative, he wants to see the project totally redone based on his vision.Be Honest With YourselfIn a recent article for Harvard Business Review, best-selling author Ron Carucci suggests that employees consider whether a boss is micromanaging them because their work isnt up to par.In other words, your manager is more likely to breathe down your neck that your have to do t hings her exact way no matter if you disagree- if your last few projects have been late, unfinished, or poorly executed.If this rings true, then, truth talk Youre stuck doing things her way for a bit. However, go out of your way not just to meet, but to exceed expectations, and show your full potential. Once youve earned back her trust, you can start suggesting innovations and pushing back with why youre ideas are better.But if your works been top-notch all along and shes just a serial micromanager, tell her its important to you to have the opportunity to take initiative and make more of a contribution. Then, listen to her response about whether or not youll be able to do that in this role. Finally, theres another reason why people disagree with their boss- and thats when theyre asked to do something they think is ethically questionable. This is not the time to try it their way. Schedule a meeting with HR (or your boss boss if theres no formal HR department) and share that you disag ree with what youre being asked to do. (Heres more on what to say).Of course, even when its not at whistle-blower level, were still talking about the manager you report to every day, and so youd like to have a positive working relationship. So, start by seeing if you cant try to learn more about where theyre coming from. Because, while it wont always be easy, if youre able to constructively work for someone with a completely different style, youll learn a lot.

How to solve relationship problems 5 secrets from research

How to solve relationship dicke bretter bohren mssens 5 secrets from researchHow to solve relationship schwierigkeits 5 secrets from researchEvery relationship has problems. And they lead to arguments - which often dont go anywhere and just make things worse.One solution is couples therapy. Its a very good solution, especially if you want to solve things by getting divorced.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesIn fact, we asked the people who participated in ur research if they were getting therapy, and we discovered that there welches a reasonably high correlation between getting therapy and getting a divorce. It was more likely that couples would get a divorce if they had therapy than if they had no therapy. This was especially true for individual therapy, but it was also true of couple therapy.ThatsJohn Gottman, the data driven cupid of academia. Hes renowned as the relationship expert who can listen to a couple talk for just a few minutes and predict whether theyll split up with an eerie 90+% degree of accuracy.For decades hes brought couples into his lab, studied how they interacted and followed up to binnensee whether that worked. And hes learned a lot.Johns book isThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for Couples.All couples have arguments. There is no magic, conflict-free relationship. (Sorry.) So how do you fightright? Thats what were gonna learn. Where should we start?How about at the beginning? Because as it turns out, beginnings are critical Start discussions gentlyAs you may have suspected, starting a conversation with YOU MORON is never a good idea.Seriously, if you dont want your partner to get defensive and angry then, quite simply, dont begin a discussion in a way that would makeanyperson defensive and angry.Sounds obvious but we all do it. And women do it a lot more than men. (Dont worry well get to the mistakes men make soon enough.)FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesThe womans role here is usual ly critical, as in heterosexual relationships (in most Western culture) it is the woman who brings up the issues 80% of the time, according to research by Philip and Carolyn Cowan at Berkeley. Again, the findings suggest that starting with attack is less likely to result in nondefensive or empathic listening.The critical distinction here is between complaining and criticizing.Complaining about a specific problem or behavior is totally okay. (When youre late, it makes me feel like Im not important to you.) But criticizing is when you present the issue as a defect in your partner. (Youre just so selfish)Telling someone you dont like their behavior is appropriate and necessary. Accusing them of being a demon spawn succubus forged from an unholy pact in the darkest pits of the netherworld is, shall we say,less-than-constructive.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesHappy couples presented issues as joint problems, and specific to one situation. Unhappy couples, on the other hand, presented issues as if they were symptoms of global defects in the partners personality.But some people will respond, You dont understand. They always make this mistake and Im just trying tofixthem.Overruled, counselor. Yourestilldoing it, but with a shinier rationalization. Trying to fix your partner means you see them as defective. This is the perspective that couples on their way to Splitsville take.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesPartners in unhappy relationships saw it as their responsibility to help their partners become better people. They acted as if they believed that the problem in relationships is that we pair with people who arent as perfect as we are. Then it becomes our responsibility to point out to our partners how they can become better human beings. They need us to point out their mistakes. We expect them to be grateful to us for our great wisdom. In miserable relationships our habit of mind is to focus on our own irritability and disappointment, and to explain to our partners how they are responsible for these miserable feelings we have.Dont raise issues in a way that could be summed up as Everything would be wonderful if you just get your act together and do exactly as I tell you because youre the screw-up and Im the long-suffering victim here.Focus on the problem, not the person. And be gentle. Even if youareright, being self-righteous doesnt help.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)Okay, so youve got your head on straight about how to approach things. But your head isnt the only part of you thats important here. Your body plays a big partStay calmI know, easier said than done. But this ishuge. The ability to stay physically calm during conflict showed the biggest correlation with relationship happiness of anything Gottman tested.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesI recall a landmark phone call in my life from Bob asking me if I had ever obtained high correlations (in the .90s), and him reporting that we had obtained such high correlations in our first 3-year follow-up study, using only physiological data in predicting relationship happiness, controlling for initial levels.Did you notice the wording there? Physiological. As in, your body. So suppressing rage, keeping your mouth shut andappearingchill doesnt qualify as calm.When things get emotional, your heart starts racing, the cortisol and adrenalin start pumping and this leads to a cascade of negative effects you cant control. You have trouble listening, empathizing and problem solving.Gottman calls it diffuse physiological arousal.You and I call it wigging out.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesIn the context of relationship conflict, DPA has big psychological effects. It decreases ones ability to take in information (reducing hearing and peripheral vision and making it difficult to shift attention away from a defensive posture). It can also create increased defensiveness and what we call the summarizing yourself syndrome, which is repeating ones own position in the hope that ones partner will suddenly get it and become loving again. DPA can reduce the ability to be creative in problem solving, it eliminates access to ones sense of humor and to affection, and it reduces the ability to listen to ones partner and empathize.And this is a bigger problem for men. When put in an emotional situation, men get flooded more quickly than women. And once physiologically worked up, it takes them longer to return to baseline.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for Couples there were decreases in blood pressure only for women. Noradrenaline is a stress hormone that operates in the brain and is theequivalent of adrenaline in the periphery. Oxytocin, in her study, decreased noradrenaline levels for women, but not for men. Hence, this research would suggest that men are more vulnerable to DPAEver get into a heated argument and realize its going nowhere?Once the stress hormones are hitting the bloodstream at firehose speed, Gottman says constructive, empathetic discussion is impossible. So what do you do?Well, kids arent the only ones that can benefit from a time-out.You cant insist that your body relax. So Gottman recommends taking a 20-minute break. And distractyourself during that time. (Bitterly mumbling to yourself for 20 minutes isnt going to make Round 2 any easier.)When youre both calmer, try again.(To learn the two-word morning ritual that will make you happy all day, clickhere.)So maybe you manage to stay all Zen. Great. But now youre in the thick of the conversation. What should you be saying to make sure it doesnt go off the rails?Stay positiveYeah, sounds obvious. But this isnt some silly little truism - its a powerful insight from real data. You want a ratio of five positive comments for every negative one.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesThe ratio of pos itive to negative affect during conflict in stable relationships is 51 in couples headed for divorce, it is 0.81 or less.Even in the midst of arguments, the successful couples Gottman studied frequently sprinkled in positive statements like Good point,Say more about how you feel and what you need, and If thats so important to you lets find a way to make that happen.You want to avoid negative comments that arent constructive likeThat is so stupid, Youre so selfish and, Id love to hit you with a tire iron and bury you in the crawlspace.But dont forget - the ratio was five to one, not five tozero. Negativity isnt evil. In fact, a little bit is necessary. Getting angry didnt cause breakupsIt wasescalationof negativity that landed people in divorce court.You yell and then they yell louder and then you yell even louder until the windows are vibrating and the pets are cowering beneath the couch.If this sounds like your fights, may I suggest you dont get a 30-year mortgage? Because your ma rriage will likely be over in 6.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesIt is the escalation of negativity, marked particularly by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, that predicts divorce. We found that couples who escalated conflict divorced an average of about 5.6 years after their wedding.When things get heated, use humor. Calling your partner a joke is not a good idea but making a joke during a fight can help de-escalate conflict.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for Couples(Positive affect) was the only variable that predicted both couple stability and happiness in our newlywed study. Furthermore, the positive affect was not distributed evenly or randomly during the conflict conversation - rather, it was used precisely - it was in the service of conflict deescalation. Positive affect and deescalation were used in the service of physiological soothing, particularly of the male in heterosexual relationships. Thats why even small a mounts of positive affect during conflict predicted positive outcomes in the relationship. Bob Levensons lab has also found that humor is effective at reducing physiological arousal.(To learn 3 secrets from neuroscience that will help you quit bad habits without willpower, clickhere.)Maybe youre doing good so far. But theres a point when you just want it toend. You cant handle any more talking or any more feelings. Like youve been throughthirty days of Guantanamo Bay waterboarding and youre allIll-tell-you-whatever-you-want-to-know-just-make-this-stop.Yes, men, Im looking at you Accept influenceDont deny your partners feelings and try to shut them up. Hear them out. That doesnt mean just continue nodding until the words finally stop coming out of their face. It means actually pay attention to and consider what theyre saying.Guys have a big problem with this one - and it can kill a relationship.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesMens acceptance of influence fro m their female partner was critical for well-functioning heterosexual relationships. The inability to accept influence from women was a stable predictor of relationship meltdown.When women complain, men often emotionally disengage or get defensive and this just escalates things. The point isnt that you have to fold and give in, you just have to listen and make it clear youre listening.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesThis is manifested in one of two patterns of rejecting influence (1) male emotional disengagement (which eventually becomes mutual emotional disengagement), or (2) male escalation (belligerence, contempt, defensiveness) in response to their wives low-intensity negative affect (complaining). The (happily married) men dont reject influence from their women as often. They tend to say things like okay, or good point, or youre making perfect sense, really, or youre starting to convince me. This is not compliance it is lively give and take. To be power ful in a relationship we must be capable of accepting influence on some things our partner wants.(To learn how to have a happy marriage, clickhere.)But what about those arguments you have over and over and over again? Will they ever get resolved?Actually, uh, no Often, nobody wins. So play nice.Almost 70% of recurring relationship disagreements never get resolved.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for Coupleswe learned that only 31% of couples major area of continuing disagreement was about a resolvable issue. Much more frequently- 69% of the time- it was about an unresolvable perpetual problem.Unless its a true dealbreaker (You really need to stop sleeping with the UPS guy), let it go. You have to accept your partner as-is.Nobody is perfect.Yourenot perfect.When you get involved with anyone, youre accepting a set of problems. You just want to make sure youre with someone whose problems you can handle.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesWe found that what mattered most was not resolution of these perpetual problems but the affect that occurred around discussion of them. The goal of happily married couples seemed to be establish a dialogue around the perpetual problem - one that included shared humor and affection and communicated acceptance of the partner and even amusement.Discuss the issue, but dont expect that itll ever get resolved to everyones complete satisfaction. Its more abouthowyou discuss it. Be accepting, affectionate and laugh about it.(To learn how to deal with passive aggressive people, clickhere.)Okay, weve covered a lot. Time to round it all up and learn the final (and much more pleasant) thing that can help smooth romantic difficultiesSum upThis is how to solve relationship problemsStart gently Complain but dont criticize. Focus on the problem, not the person.Stay calm When your pulse goes up, happiness goes down.Stay positive Five To One isnt just a song by The Doors its also the key to a happy relationship.A ccept influence Really listening to your partners needs can make sure I never see atrue crime documentary onDateline NBCabout the end of your relationship.Often, nobody wins. So play nice If your attitude is my way or the highway then I hope you like traffic jams. As Aristotle never said, you cant always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.So what else should you do in order to make a relationship work and get past problems? Its not all about arguing the right way You need to have fun. Keep making an effort, keep having adventures, keep acting like you did when you first started dating.FromThe Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for CouplesIn relationships that were happy, people continued courtship and intimacy and nurtured emotional connection, friendship, fun, adventure, and playfulness.Even in the middle of a fight, its important to remember the person in front of you is the person you love.Love isnt just a noun its also a verb. Loves not just so mething you have, its something you do.And if you can continue to do it in the midst of an argument, then you can be happy after it ends.And isnt that what we all want? Happily ever after?Join over 320,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Thisarticlefirst appeared in 2014 onBarking up the Wrong Tree.

Thinking were being paid fairly matters more than making a fair wage

Thinking were being paid fairly matters more than making a fair wageThinking were being paid fairly matters more than making a fair wageHow you feel about how your company pays you matters much more than the hard numbers of your paycheck, according to anew survey of more than 500,000 employeesby the salary databasePayScale.The survey found that employees believing they had a fair and erkennbar pay process had 5.4 times the impact on how satisfied employees felt at their company, compared to whether the employee was actually being paid at market value for their role.In other words, were much more sensitive to why and how were being paid than what were being paid.Why fair and durchschaubar salaries are so importantWhy does so-and-so get paid more than I do? How do raises happen on my team?When employees know the answers to these questions, they feel like they have more agency over their careers.As any highly paid yet miserable employee recognizes, the zeroes in our paychecks dont comfo rt us as much as feeling appreciated and valued by our employers.Our study shows that just by having an open dialogue about the pay process and employees contributions at the company, employers can ultimately drive better outcomes for their businesses,Lydia Frank, PayScales Vice President of Content Strategy said.We often dont know if were fairly paidAnd the survey found that we could use all the help we can get with clarifying pay processes, because many of us are bad at estimating if were being paid fairly. Of the people the survey found were being underpaid at their jobs, almost 90% thought they were paid at or above market rate.What companies should knowBeing transparent about pay doesnt just keep employees engaged at work - it helps to ensure that they are being compensated equally. Advocates of closing the gender gap argue that being transparent about pay is key to stopping the persistent gap between mens and womens salaries. When your company conducts regular pay audits, the y can change behaviors and stop unconscious biases between teams.This study shows us that we care more about processes more than results when it comes to our salaries. To keep us engaged at work, employersdont just need to have the right answers, they need to show the rest of the class how they got to that number.